So I received a wonderful phone call from CPS today-Child Protective Services. Totally took me for a loop. Apparently my wonderful ex husband made allegations that I have my son around people who are abusing him and that I never protect him from this so called abuse. First of all what mother in their right mind would even tolerate any kind of violence directed towards a child! I can’t begin to tell you the amount of hurt this situation has caused. I really wonder how some people can live with themselves. Like you must be some kind of special to purposely enjoy making accusations and intentionally enjoy hurting others.
I made mistakes in my life and I’m not ashamed to admit it. But to keep wanting to hurt someone just because your hurting yourself Clearly says a lot about your character. It’s a true statement ” hurt people..hurt people” I’m constantly told to ” not have our son around other men who aren’t family” just because you want to be the only man in our sons life. No one can replace you, your dad! No one wants to replace you. And you know what I don’t want to replace you either! Your a phenomenal father . But you CAN’T CONTROL MY HAPPINESS!! I WILL be married again, I WILL have more children. I WILL still be amazing. And I know it kills you that you can’t control me anymore, so you make these false accusations but you know what….God has got my back!
This has certainly been a trying time of my life. I’ve never felt more tested by people this much in my life. I’m learning that there are some people who purposely try you, who purposely hurt you, who purposely want to kick you down. There are also people who can’t love you because of a God or religion . And then there’s the ones who will love you as long as they can control you. I’m currently experiencing everything that I just mentioned. I have days where it hurts like hell, and then I have days where I’m thankful I’m going thru all of this to see who really loves me.
For a second I didn’t want to write this blog because I didn’t want to expose the fact that I have to deal with CPS. That word alone is a word I thought I would never encounter In my perfect little life. But you know what??? My life is still perfect because I’m making it perfect. I’m creating my own happiness daily and I’m finally figuring out how to survive on my own without being under somebody else’s wings. And I’m flying just fine! If everyone left me God is still with me. I pray that this situation rectifies itself, I pray to always have my son in my life. And I even pray that god blesses me with someone who is deserving of me. And most of all I will continue to pray for my enemies, because clearly they need prayer themselves.
I don’t have answers here but anyone going thru trying situations, you too can get thru it! Turn to people who are in your life for guidance. And if you have no one you certainly have God. He can get you thru it! He did not bring us this far to leave anyone hanging. Prayer works! I was so sad yesterday and felt broken. I prayed so hard to the point where I had tears rolling down my face, but today I woke up refreshed and ready to take on the day. That wasn’t me, that was God’s mercy and Holy Spirit working with me. It works people.
If anyone has any advice or needs a listening ear please reach out to me. I don’t want to just always share good moments, I want to be real and open and talk about sad and unexpected hardships too. I myself never thought I would have “that life” but this is my life and I’m still going to make it beautiful, regardless of how I thought it should’ve looked.
To the person who wants to kill my happiness I thank you for showing me your true colors. Sorry if my new life and happiness kills you. So I will continue to pray for you and your misery.
I’m aware this blog is more like a letter, but there’s people out there in the same situation. Your not alone! We can lean on eachother and make our voices stronger together! No one deserves to be bullied.
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