Co-Parenting. The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

We all grow up telling ourselves ” I’m never having kids until I’m married”, or, ” Once I’m married I’m never getting a divorce”. Well as wonderful as those promises we made to ourselves may be, life doesn’t always work that way. I’m learning myself at 31 years of age, that you never really know how life will lead you. We all go into a particular situation thinking we may do it this way, and it may be the opposite of how we ever planned it to be. I certainly didn’t plan my life to be a single parent and raising a son with his father in two separate homes, that was certainly NOT my plan. But…….Since that’s the case now, I’m trying to make the best of it and not always focus on the negatives that co-parenting may bring, or the negative stigmas this world often imposes on co-parenting as well.

Currently…….

I have one child who is a 4 year old little boy. Cutest little thang ever ! 🙂 I’ve been co- parenting so far going on almost 2 years you could say. It certainly has it’s challenges. His father is actively involved in his life, which is a blessing as well. So, he has a very active and involved mommy and daddy full time. We divide our days up during the week equally and we rotate every other weekend with him as well.  I find myself missing my son a little bit more than I normally would on certain days (obviously)I went from seeing him everyday to seeing him spread out now throughout the week, so occasionally I still have rough moments when I wish to hear his voice a little bit more, or to see his cute little smile. I certainly feel like I don’t want to miss any “milestone” moments. Even though we may be past those lol, as he’s not so little anymore lol. But, overall I’m always going to miss him more at certain moments, that’s just the way life is. We ALWAYS miss somebody.

fall-with-sj

Here is my baby boy, Sweetest little boy ever

 

So How Do I Cope And Manage?

Well, It’s no point in weeping over a situation I can’t change! Since I’m going down this new road of life, I always try to make the best of it. The days I don’t have my son I really use those days to get everything done. For Ex; housework, laundry, groceries, miscellaneous errands, doctor appointment’s, EVERYTHING! So, on the days SJ is home with his mommy it’s nothing but pure quality time and bonding and snuggles and kisses. From me doing this I’m not distracted when he’s home, or running to do this or that. I literally take care of everything when he has daddy time and then by the time he’s with mommy again were both peaceful and in a relaxed mindset. What I also have been incorporating on the weekends with SJ, I do arts n crafts with him and DIY mommy/son projects we complete together. When I mention it to him during the week, it makes him so excited for the weekend and the projects we will do together. It also helps me to stick to keeping my word ( sometimes life get’s busy, or we feel like lazy bums on the weekend) 🙂 But, by me sharing this with him, it makes me excited as well, and it’s quality time very well spent that we enjoy together……For a list of fun projects to do with your child, head on over to my pinterest page! Just click on link……You can also check out previous blogs on the crafts we’ve done together so far as well 🙂 Weekend DIY Projects For You And Your Kiddies or Arts n Crafts!

I’ve also grown to appreciate that we all NEED A BREAK! And it’s nothing wrong with that! Let’s be real here, being a parent 24-7, while also having a significant other,husband-wife,  and working full time and taking care of a home requires some down time in whatever shape or form it may come in. We all need that girl time or guys time, or time to go to the salon and get pampered. And we all have that particular day or 2 a week where it’s grocery night or run errands night, which would make us coming home around 8pm or 9 ish anyways. My point is, we can’t see our kids 24-7 anyway and we’re human we don’t function off batteries. So as much as I miss my SJ I also take advantage of the little bit of time I have away from him. Is that a bad thing?? NO!!! I really have no choice, so I’m going to make lemonade or margaritas with the lemons I was served 🙂 Life is how you make it people.

Personal Reflections

As mentioned before it certainly isn’t always easy. I miss him more and more the older he is getting. He’s just so darn funny, and at times I need his laughter. My son is able to say he has 2 homes now. And he knows mommy and daddy are always there for EVERYTHING. Of course some things are different….his bedtime routine, my standards, his father’s standards. But overall, the more SJ grows he seems to be adapting just fine. I’m aware everyone’s situation is different and they’re a lot of one parent families out there.  So as hard as it may be at times I reflect on how blessed I am to be in my son’s life and be his awesome mother , and also reflect on how blessed he is to have a great father. Nothing is ever perfect, at times situations are harder, at times me and his father don’t see eye to eye, but when it comes to SJ we push that aside and try to be the best parents we can be for him. For that I’m grateful ❤️

I’m blessed to have become a mother. And not just any mom, but SJ ‘s mom!

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Until next time,

~Jilly

 

9 thoughts on “Co-Parenting. The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

  1. therealwithjill says:

    I tip my hat to the both of you.. It take two very mature individuals to reach common ground after a breakup and co-parent, one of the many selfless acts we have to display as a parent. Im sure SJ will grow into a fine man knowing the sacrifices that both his parents have taken for the sake of his happiness. This is great encouragement to single parents, knowing that co parenting can really work.

    Like

  2. wakingupthirty says:

    OH wow. So I have been co-parenting my now 14-year-old since almost immediately after she was born. Not only am I married to another man, but her Dad is also married to another woman and all four of us have been involved in our daughter’s life since almost day 1. It is not always easy, but I honestly believe our girl is one of the most level headed children that come from a “broken home” as some people put it.
    One thing I implemented really early on is that I never ever talk badly about her dad in front of her. I don’t want her to think half of her is bad, if you know what I mean?

    So much more love is needed when raising kids, not less.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kristin Cook says:

    I love love love that you see the blessing in your ex still being in your son’s life. I think sometimes the media (tv shows and such) only portray divorced parents as hating each other and arguing the whole time, but the fact that you see that it’s good for your son to still have his dad in his life is a great thing!

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    • therealwithjill says:

      Thank you for that. The media sometimes does portray it as a negative thing. Granted it’s not always easy and I really miss him so much when he’s away, he’s also blessed to have both parents in his life. Gotta outweigh the negative with a positive 🙂 Thanks for your comment

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